Episode 20: The Matrix is 4Realz? (Part 2)

October 27, 2008 – 9:04 PM

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Some time later…

Secret Asian Man parked the car. It was night now. They walked into an abandoned apartment that was falling apart. 3rd floor. They walked into a white room that was perfectly intact and clean.

A phone started ringing. “That for me.” Secret Asian Man picked up the corded phone. And disappeared. The phone fell, hanging limp by the cord. A man appeared and walked over and picked up the phone and hung it up.

“What the hell is going on?” Diego whispered.

The man in front of him was wearing a black suit, wearing several large gold rings, and large chains around his neck.

“Sup, mufucka?”

Diego couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He’d seen this man before. He’d been Diego’s best friend in kindergarten. “Tupac?”

“Straight mothafuckin ballin’ bitch.” Tupac nodded.

“Pac man! I thought you were dead.”

“Naw, nigga, I planned tha shit.”

“Haha. Dude, it’s been way too long.” They embraced.

“Fuck ya.”

They discussed their lives and a bunch of boring shit that isn’t worth writing, mainly having to do with illegal activities, drugs, and killing people. So we’ll skip ahead to the exciting part…

…Diego put his pants back on.

“So what are you doing here?” he asked.

“Shit mayn. I can’t answer those questions yet. Aight, is time.” Tupac, put both of his hands out. He opened them up. In one hand there was a blue pill. In the other, a red pill. “Take the blue, you forget bout dis shit and wake up at yo house. Take the red, and we tell you everything. But there’s no turning back. Red or blue?”

“Hmmm.” Diego considered the choices for a few moments. “Sorry, man, I stopped popping LSD caps a few months back.”

“Damn.”

“Well that explains this whole “Matrix” thing. I knew it was a conspiracy. “The Matrix” is an acid trip? And this “no turning back” deal… that’s addiction?”

“Thas righ.”

“Sorry, but I’m Above the Influence. So kiss my ass.”

Tupac pulled out a glock and shot Diego.

“Uh… what?”

Tupac shot him again. A phone rang somewhere in the background.
Diego stumbled backward into a wall. Tupac stepped forward.

Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!

The life faded from Diego’s eyes, and he slid down the wall, smearing blood all over it.

“Suck on that you bitch-ass trick.” Tupac spat on Diego’s corpse.

A man appeared behind Tupac. “Is he dead?”

“Wha da fuck does it look like to you, white bitch?

The man stepped forward into the light. He was wearing a gray business suit. “Mr. Anderson, you disappoint me,” he said to Diego’s corpse.

With that Tupac and Agent Smith walked down the hallway, into the darkness…

Halfway down, Smith tried to touch Tupac’s ass,

Tupac responded with a “… the fuck?” followed by a few comments from his 9mm.

Smith’s feeling were hurt and he started bleeding everywhere. Tupac told him to quit his bitchin’, threw Smith through a wall, and the building collapsed, killing everyone inside.

Later…

Smoke everywhere. Eventually it begins to clear. Rubble. Debris. The ground begins to shake. A hand reaches up from the ground…