The Late Announcers

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Whenever you’re late to class, there’s always that one person. You know who I’m talking about. The one that feels like informing you of the obvious fact that you are, indeed, late. You can be late every single day, and they will still find it their sole responsiblity to tell you.


Day 1

“Aww you’re late!”

“Wait, what?! I’m late? I mean, I just thought the hallways are always empty. Yeah, I mean, it’s not like there’s clocks in the hallway, or a bell ringing, so how could I possibly know I’m late? God, you’re a lifesaver. Seriously, what would I do without you?”


Day 2

“You’re late!”

“Oh, wait, so you heard the bell, too? Shit, I mean, I thought I was the only one. Like hearing things. Crazy, right? Well good to know both of our ears are functioning properly. But thanks for watching my back. I totally owe you.”


Day 3

“Dude, you are LATE!”

“I’m late? Oh yeah, because everyone sitting down, writing, couldn’t possibly mean that class has begun. That just happens all the time. Who talks before class anymore? That’s just silly.”


Day 4

“Hey! You’re late!”

“Shhh. You’re supposed to whisper secrets, dumbass. But thanks, I didn’t know that. Oh, no, don’t worry. My lips are sealed. You can trust me. I won’t tell anyone.”


Day 5

“Ohh you’re l-”

*Leaps across desk, grabs person by throat, picks them up off the ground and throws them through 3rd floor window, sits down, goes home after school, sleeps peacefully*