Political Scandal Shocks Nation on Election Day
November 4, 2008 – 8:23 PMRate:
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On the day of the historic election, the impossible happened.
Senator Barack Obama was pulled over on account of his blackness. And to the world’s surprise Sarah Palin was in the passenger seat. After further investigation it was deemed that Palin had given the potential future president of the U.S. of A. “road head.”
Both Obama and Palin have dropped out of the presidential race due to the embarrassing scandal and have not yet addressed the matter publicly.
Their estranged partners, McCain and Biden, in a surprise move have teamed up to form the most fucked up ticket ever. This move has caused wide spread chaos and confusion. What can a Republican President and a Democratic Vice President possibly accomplish together.
The answer, it seems, is jack shit.
With the removal of the black man and the white woman, this election is no longer “historic” and has instead been reverted back to “normal” election status, just like any other one. Now millions of people can finally remove the sand from their respective vaginas and stop being little bitches.
“At least now we’re all united.” McCain smiled. With all other major contenders gone, McCain stands alone as his immanent presidency draws near.
In related news, McCain and Biden recently engaged in what can only be called a “bitch fight” regarding who got to sit in McCain’s favorite chair on the bus ride to the acceptance speech. McCain reportedly tried to uppercut Biden but failed due to war injuries that prevented him from raising his hands that high.
Author: James Hoff
